Books That Made Me
📚 My reading journey: from fetus, teenage rebellion, to the trapped adulthood era.
I grew up in Malaysia where books or reading weren’t very common in my past generation outside of school. If you were seen holding a book or reading in public, it was easy for some mean kids to bully you as a pretentious nerd. Nerd culture is widely respected now, but back then, it wasn’t well-received or appreciated. At least not in my circle.
None of my closest school friends were as interested in reading as I was. I wouldn’t even classify myself as book-smart, but from a very young age, I knew I had a deep love for art & literature. Unfortunately, I never had the chance to study in these fields. I was forced into science-stream & computer-related subjects to be considered as ‘smart’ student or practical for future job securities, while art & literature were seen as ‘less-smart’ or dismissed as less useful.
Looking back, I think my love for books was also influenced by my elder sister. Despite our 11-years age gap, we shared the same passion for reading, which deepened my interest over time & remained as one of my favourite hobbies to this day.
I’ve definitely read more books beyond the titles & authors mentioned in this post, & definitely not just in English. I didn’t keep track of my reading years & many books were borrowed from different people & places, so I can’t recall much. I’ve also sold most of my older books to indie bookstores, donated to libraries, or simply gave away.
The title above was actually part of a trend going around online. It’s kind of fun, really, it got me to recall books I’ve read & what had caught my interest. Most people selected few books, but I just couldn’t narrow it down! Maybe there’ll be a Part 2 to this where I focus on specific books & how they impacted my life.
For this post, I’m grouping them by genres with some authors. It’s a broad approach, but still reflects the books that shaped me as a reader & as a person through different phases of my life. Being a constant mood-reader doesn’t help with my consistency, but it does make things more fun, lol!
1) The Childhood Era.
During this early sweet memories, what I vividly remember was my mum always had a long ruler in front of me—whether to make sure I finished my homework or to train my short tongue to read out loud. That’s how casual my mum was about it.
Other than traumatic school textbooks, I had to read every titles from KeyWords & Ladybird including all the Peter & Jane books, every Enid Blyton series, Disney Classics, any fairytale princess books & countless bedtime storybooks. I also had tons of books with: touch-this, scratch-that, peep-in, pull-that & pop-up! (really, it wasn’t just a short tongue problem, all my senses were tested).
My rebellion-blood started since I was a fetus, so I tossed away all the pretty, girly books & picked up Little Miss book series. Surrounded by My Little Pony, Care Bears, Swan Lake & The Last Unicorn, I studied animal-kingdom books more than my school textbooks because I wanted to be a vet instead of police, doctor, or teacher. I was also overly obsessed with dinosaurs, which brought Jurassic Park to the list.
Our old house was a prehistoric museum with books, little animals & dinos scattered in every corner. No surprise my mum had all kinds of rulers, I was that young rebellious veterinarian & paleontologist. Didn’t get to be both anyways.
2) The Young Teenage Era.
At some point, my mum just gave up & decided that my elder sister is her favorite child. My sister was also a top student in her school & Uni, so it made life simpler for everyone in the house. I’d like to think my dad was more on my side, maybe.
This young teenage era marked the lowest level of my rebellion, but my nerdiness started to peak. I actually looked forward to going to school—not because of their subjects, but because I had discovered my most magical secret hideout: the school library. To this day, I can still remember the library entrance, the library card, the ink stamps, & every corner filled with the amazing scent of old books. It was my first love.
As I mentioned, not many kids of my age liked to hang out in the library, so it was a serene & perfect place for someone like me (the word introvert wasn’t popularized yet during this era, but that’s exactly what I was). Even on the days when my rebellious side took over & I snuck out through the school’s back gate, I never left without grabbing a book from that magical place.
Alongside reading plenty of mystery & adventure books, I also discovered my love for Roald Dahl in that library & read nearly all of his works. Outside of school, I was into anime, manga & comics. I borrowed & read everything from Emily the Strange, Doraemon, Sailor Moon & more. When everyone was asleep, I read my sister’s hidden stash of Agatha Christie’s books, Betty & Veronica comics & some random romance novels.
Of all the stolen loot, my absolute favorite from her collection was Calvin & Hobbes by Bill Watterson. I was so deeply engrossed that I kept rereading them over & over again. Despite calling me a freak & keeping up our sibling rivalry, my sister was still kind enough (or just gave up) to let me hack her potato Macintosh PC to read & game. Eventually, she gifted me the worn-out C&H books for my birthday. That was one of the best days of my life.
3) The Teenage Rebellion & Young Adulthood Era.
To my surprise, I was reading more during this era, while everyone else was out enjoying. I didn’t make any friends mostly because they find me weird for constantly asking: “What’s wrong with our world?” (I’m guessing now that they’re adult, they started to ask the same).
This was the peak of my nerdiness, rebellion, & confusion. I was mad at almost everything & everyone—Me vs. The World, Me vs. Me. This was the Why Me? era. My reading life & genres reflected that same question & it deepened, expanded, & branched out into multiple directions.
There were actually two parts to this:
3.1) Reading Books About What is Wrong.
This first part was me trying to understand what was wrong & why the universe kept going against me (to be fair, this still happens till today, lol). During this phase, I consumed a never-ending list of random Penguin Classics & philosophy books.
I couldn’t even grasp what most philosophers were trying to conclude, so I had to get reference books, took extra philosophy courses, did tons of research, & spent way more time on this rather than my actual (boring) studies. This continued from college into university years. Despite completing my majors in Software Engineering, I felt like I had unknowingly earned a PhD in postmodernism, absurdism, & existentialism. Give me any big names from Søren Kierkegaard to Camus, Sartre to Nietzsche. I was at the peak of my wallflower era.
3.2) Reading Books About What is Life.
The second part of this phase was mostly soul-searching. After exhausting my brain with a mix of software lifecycles & deep thoughts about human existence, I started reading some contemporary fiction, & books from various authors: Mitch Albom, John Green, Friedrik Backman, Markus Zusak, Donna Tartt, Carlos Ruiz Zafón, & more.
After getting first paycheck, I gravitated towards literature, exploring some works byVirginia Woolf, Ernest Hemingway, Sylvia Plath, John Steinbeck, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Viktor Frankl & J. D. Salinger.
My reading habits also branched out in directions which were influenced by my solo travels. I was far more drawn to the wanderlust books & work by Rebecca Solnit, Cheryl Strayed, Bill Bryson, Jon Krakauer, Jack Kerouac, & the Beat Generation writers. I also explored some books on solitude, music, autobiographies, memoirs & many books on craft of writing.
After consuming so much, I naturally started to write more. During this era, I was also actively blogging, published a few fiction pieces & even drafted a manuscript, all were heavily inspired by the books I read & my plot-twist life experiences.
Combine all of the recipes above & you get a soul-searching, wanderlust-driven young adult cluelessly navigating the corporate world alongside her ever-growing list of side hobbies. By this point, you already know she carried at least 3 books with her.
Or maybe, as Douglas Adams famously said, the answer to life was simply 42 — which I also discovered his work during this era & remain as one of my favorites.
4) Adulthood is a Trap Era (Currently).
I wonder if years from now, I’ll edit this post & add another section of Golden Age Era after retirement. I can already picture myself reading even more books then & honestly, I can’t wait. Which is why from now, I’m hoarding as many books & games in my little cave while I still able to.
During this adulthood era, I’ve found myself leaning towards speculative fiction—mainly sci-fi & fantasy, with bits of realism & philosophical themes. A sweet spot.
I’ve completely tuned out the real-world news & prefer to explore fiction work. My reading genres have also shifted & influenced by games, fandoms & shows. I immersed myself more into role-playing games (RPGs), most of which are rich in storytelling, deeply narrative-driven, & often leading me to explore their expanded novels & comics, or vice versa.
My reading interests span a wide range from sci-fi, space opera to dark fantasy, but I also enjoy other subgenres. I might explore some older sci-fi & other fantasy realms later on. As I’m writing this post, I’m reading works by Adrian Tchaikovsky, Peter F. Hamilton, James S.A. Corey, Andrzej Sapkowski & Brandon Sanderson. Some authors write across genres & there’s plenty to dive into from books, comics, games & shows.
Currently, I have over 400 physical books & still wonder why they spilled over into my mum’s kitchen. I don’t have a room or space to stack nice shelves & my books are mostly scattered around everywhere, just like the story of my childhood dinosaur era. Because they’re piled in different spots, not all of them are in these photos. I’ve also lost count of how many eBooks I own or have read. Let’s just say I love Tsundoku & we can make peace with that! 😬
I have two separate Goodreads accounts now, one’s personal & another is for hobby-related (add me here). They are mainly just for me to keep track of the ever-growing list, books I just want to revisit or reread, or new authors I’ve recently discovered.
Throughout these several eras of books that made me, I love how expansive my reading exposure has become. Being a mood reader suits me perfectly haha!
Hope you enjoyed reading this long post! Let me know if you did something similar, I’d love to see yours. Maybe next time, I’ll write a second part to this & for games too. See ya! 😉📚🎮
After reading your post, i reflect on my reading journey as well.
You definitely read A LOT!
I do think one's early worldview and character was founded by materials they read in young age. And then later molded by the continuous reading of choice.
My childhood read was Wu Xia collection of my dad, classic Chinese literatures, stories about legends and heroes, manga my brothers borrow...
When I entered high school, library became my favorite hanging spot during recess. I was a librarian, everyday after quick snack I would hang around library even when I was off-duty. During that time I started to read more English books, Harry Potter was new back then, and I discovered Narnia before the movie came out.
I read less during Uni time, mainly there wasn't fun books in my Uni, and books are pricey for my student allowance. Reading was on and off, and I was less passionate in reading until last year, when I was on a solo trip I found joy in reading again.